Posted by: bukman | March 21, 2012

20120321

The people are noisy, the mixture of their voices blends together in an indiscernible composition. Of course, the fact that most of them are speaking german doesn’t help. The accommodations are rustic at best, a high chair and a flat bar top to put your tray on and a window wall facing outward. It’s a McDonald’s in a shopping mall, after all, not a gourmet restaurant. On the other side of the glass there’s a small street and on its sidewalks more people frolicking by, to and from their homes or workplaces. The window is so clean that sometimes you forget it’s there. It helps carry you in the outside world, like a suspended observer; you tend to forget you’re in a fast food joint. The music is modern, but still appealing. Germany still has a bit of rock left in her, and that transpires in the programming of the mainstream music channels.

Across the street, a lamppost ends with a huge horizontal plate, just at eye-level. It’s so perfectly sized, it almost induces the idea that it’s deliberate. On top of this lamppost built like a dance-rink, away from the eyes of the world below them, two pigeons were doing the mating dance. Well, that’s not exactly true; she was standing in the middle of the rink and watching him as he did the dance around her. On and on it went, matching the beat on the radio, a beat they couldn’t possibly hear. Then, all of a sudden, she took two steps forwards, paused for a second and flew off. He stopped and stood there on top of the, now deserted, lamppost with a look of almost human confusion. He looked left, looked right, left again, right again, left…stood motionless for a while, and then, flew off as well.

How human it all was! Man and woman meet, they begin “the dance”, they start a relationship and then, all of a sudden, she leaves, and the man is left there alone and confused. He hadn’t changed his routine, he was moving right along, doing the same things he had been doing since the first days and she just left. Sometimes guys move on quickly, sometimes it’s harder, sometimes they can’t move on at all and that’s how serial killers are born. While men are painted as inconsistent and noncommittal creatures, one must never underestimate the power of a woman to simply change her mind.

I know it feels like there are more men leaving women than the other way around, or at least it feels like it, but that’s not what these two pigeons of Hamburg played at on this day in March. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is. And it’s good to think about it that way, once in a while.

Posted by: bukman | March 8, 2012

20120308

Podcasts! Many a times have I been mocked at for listening to podcasts. They have been snickered at and considered juvenile and not relevant to the mainstream cultural phenomenon. A hobby at best of a few eccentric people that I was wasting my time by indulging in. Well, fellas and gals, I have some podcasting news for you. The podcasts have arrived! Hell yeah!

On March 1st 2012, the most powerful man in the world (this guy), spent one hour of his time to take part in such a meaningless endeavor as a podcast episode. It just so happens that it was one of my favourite podcast, the BS Report, a project driven by Bill Simmons, once a sports columnist for the Boston Globe, today one of the most visible sports personalities in the US Sports arena thanks to his delicious columns for ESPN, his Grantland on-line magazine, his two books, his ESPN 30 for 30 series of documentaries and, his podcast that is started following back in 2010. Top that, naysayers!

Here’s a list of some of my favorite podcasts and their respective websites (they can all be downloaded through iTunes as well):

 

 

 

 

 

 

The BS Report - http://sports.espn.go.com/espnradio/podcast/archive?id=2864045

 

 

 

 

 

The Adam Carolla Show - http://www.adamcarolla.com/

 

 

 

 

 

South Australian Roots and Blues - http://www.sablues.org/

 

 

 

 

 

This Week With Larry Miller - http://www.adamcarolla.com/LMBlog/

 

 

 

 

 

The Bush Telegraph - http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/bushtelegraph/

 

 

 

 

 

Australia All Over - http://www.abc.net.au/australiaallover/

 

 

 

 

 

Mac Talk - http://www.mactalk.com.au/content/

Enjoy! I know I do.

Posted by: bukman | July 15, 2011

20110715

Back in the mid 90s there was a whirlwind of controversy related to Microsoft’s rise to power, its allegedly stolen technologies and its unfair practices in regards to other companies such as Netscape or Apple. Today, Microsoft has fallen out of the pack of the leaders in the IT sector and we seem to not care as much about them. But, perhaps, it’s not Microsoft that we should worry about… Personally, I see another IT juggernaut that has insinuated itself in every facet of our lives and looking around most people seem to agree with this intrusion and even worse, welcome it and wish for more.

About one year ago, Microsoft’s Bing was aggressively promoted to anyone who would listen. They claimed it helped you decide, instead of just giving you links. All fine and dandy, but I never jumped on board, and, despite the mass-media campaign, neither did 70% of the regular internet users. Those who used Internet Explorer changed its default search provider back to Google and those who didn’t know how to change it, got used to typing www.google.com in their address bar before actually searching for something. Bing was such a huge bust that they actually started copying the search results from Google instead of trusting their own search algorithms. When that became public, Bing was forever discredited and no one was even angry about this.

When you think of searching for information, you think of the Goog. For fuck’s sake, googling something has even made it into our daily language! And I believe it’s all too normal for things to work that way. They simply are the best at it and my hat’s off to them in this department. But my problem with them is that they won’t stop there and they won’t go the Apple route either, which is to constantly innovate. No, instead they choose to take proven business models, slapstick the Google brand on top of it and market it as their brand new approach to whatever. And this fucking behavior works, because there are hoards of Google fans ready and willing to lap up every little fart that the Goog puts out.

The latest cause of my ire is the brand new Google way of doing social media, which is the G+.

The day I first heard of it, my instant response was “really??”. After myspace, aol, hi5 all came and died. After Facebook literally killed any other competitor’s attempt at a startup using a social platform. After getting a film done about it that almost nailed and should have, in my opinion, nailed an Oscar. Here comes Google with their Facebook alternative. I was stomped. It seemed like a business model deemed for failure. And then I woke up to the wailings of the Google quire boys, all pining for that ever elusive g+ invite. Enough to make me sick. But it also led me down memory lane. This isn’t the first time Google hijacks something and it just makes me angry that they are hailed as innovators when, outside of their really cool search engine, they are nothing more than rich hacks.

 

Gmail came about at the beginning of internet-only mail providers. It boasted 1GB of storage at the time, which was way better than Yahoo’s offer of 100 MB. I was quick to jump on it, especially since it advertised that you could attach any file size you wanted. But, big surprise, it worked a lot worse than the Yahoo it was so intent on killing, in fact, it was so bad that I abandoned my account after only a couple of months. This is probably where I differ from most people. If I have something set up nicely, that works and that I’m used to, I will only abandon it for a better product. I don’t chase different for the sake of having something different. I’m pleased with chicken and fries every day for a good long time before reaching for a risotto plate. Alas, I am but a small slice of that statistical pie and the chasers of different, be it only for difference’s sake, seem to be many more in numbers, because Gmail survived and branched out.

GTalk, the Goog’s attempt at an instant messenger that (I think) never caught on, basically because you had to have a Gmail account for it to work. Don’t get me wrong, it looked like a much more interesting piece of software than the Gmail platform, and, as such I used it for about 7-9 months before I finally kicked it out of my computer. Here’s why: Yahoo Messenger was, at the time, just that much better. It was more reliant, more user friendly and definitely more familiar. And here’s the thing that killed off GTalk completely for me, Yahoo Messenger was more in tune with the look and feel of my OS instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.

 

Blogger was Google’s attempt at taking over the blogging platform and replicating WordPress’s success and that failed as well, because it was a piece of shit platform that couldn’t hold up a candle to the way WordPress did things. Don’t get me wrong, WordPress is very far from being perfect, but it’s still the best version of a blogging platform out there. I never got on it. When I opened my first blogging account, I went with WordPress and never looked back. Still, Blogger also didn’t fail yet, thank you Google fans!

 

Google Videos was the Goog’s reply to YouTube. Yes, you revisionist history half-wits, YouTube was an actual startup and not Google’s idea. Their idea was to copy it and they failed so dramatically, that, in 2006 they decided to make a godfather offer of 1.65 billion dollars and acquired the biggest online video platform. Later, the Goog used this platform as a part of their war with Apple, whereas it was flash based and couldn’t be accessed from the iPhone and the iPad. Thankfully, they realized how ridiculous they had been and now they have introduced HTML 5 support, despite initially making a big deal about how useless it was, for the site’s mobile version.

 

Google Calendar, a feature originally not included with the initial release of Gmail is a ripoff of the old Yahoo Calendar. What I find amusing is that Google was so preoccupied with copying the Yahoo Mail, that they didn’t stop to think that maybe copying the integrated calendar app was a good idea as well.

 

Google Chrome, also known as the Mozilla killer. The faster, cleaner, more responsible browser from Google was the first major software breakthrough from the Goog. Here’s the problem with it. It keeps calling home and monitoring all of your browsing activity. Now, if that’s of no concern to you, it’s all fine, but I’ve become more and more aware how essential it is to remain anonymous online and there’s simply no reasoning with the Goog about this point. Furthermore, it was just a poorly built product. What I think it was most worrying was that its greatest market share gain was done while the Chrome was going relentlessly from a bad version to another, thus the gain being based more on the Google brand and the willingness to believe of the target audience, than on the quality of the product.

I’ll spare the reader on my complaints about Android and the Android marketplace as well as the Google phones, for now, since I want to save that for an Apple vs Google article, but they follow along the same path Google has always taken. Target a competitor and double all the services it offers, then run him into the ground. Google practically did it to Yahoo, now they’re targeting Apple and, over time, I fear they may win that war as well. And their most recent target seems to be Facebook.

Here’s the thing, none of this is good business! It’s just a big bully that has the resources to lose money and try to kill off every competitor on the market by taking their innovations and re-releasing them under their own brand. This is the Chinese model of doing business, it’s the Evil Empire, it’s the dark side of the force…

Call it what you want, but the Goog’s alternatives to whatever, as they promoted their products over time, are, to me, just one more step towards the complete and total dominance of the private sector. And that, is just not cool.

Posted by: bukman | January 24, 2011

20110124

I’ve recently had the opportunity to see Tron: Legacy, the new movie from Disney. I think I saw a poster announcing it back in 2009 and got extremely excited when I first saw the teaser. I hadn’t yet seen the original Tron at the time so the prospect of seeing this sequel, moved me enough to go out and find it. The 1982 movie is as old as I am and, from a technological standpoint, it feels about as dated as Spartacus’ tiny sword. Still, I found it decent and quite enjoyable for the time period it represented. It was sort of a Matrix a full decade before the idea of Matrix came about. It tried and, for the most part, succeeded to transport the viewer into a digital world, as the writers had pictured it at the beginning of the 80s. The concept of quantic teleportation had ben first introduced in the Star Trek series back in the 60s, so I see no reason to quibble about it when it was used as a basis to enter this digital universe. To me Tron (1982) was a story, a fairy tale and a fantasy. Of course we have now outgrown that stage, we know what programs are, what the information highway is and how computers communicate, but at the time, the whole realm was new and very open to these types of fantasies.

This year’s version of Tron, was boasting some very impressive 3D, so I had to dish out the extra shekels and see it at the IMAX. I went in with a slight fear in my heart that I would leave disappointed. Hollywood hasn’t been known to treat its legends kindly and whenever a new movie appeared based on an old subject it was, more times than most, worse or much worse than the original. Plus, the Star Wars prequels are still too vivid in memory to go into this sort of adventure completely light hearted. Added to this, almost every review that I read, praised the visual effects and the soundtrack, and bitched about the story or about the flow of the movie. Under these conditions the expectations were mounted against Tron: Legacy. I was at least hoping the effects would wow me and beat the crap out of Avatar.

A couple of days after the movie, I’m not sure that Avatar has been blown out of the water. Certainly Tron was absolutely amazing in the image department, right from the opening credits up to the very end, but still. Avatar had me watching cartoons and forgetting that I wasn’t watching a cartoon. I think due to the scale of the effects, Avatar still has to take it. Too bad the story in Avatar was so lame.

Going back to Tron, I got everything I was hoping for and much more. I came out of that movie wowed and dazzled, and a full day later, I was still thinking about it. It was just at the right pace, picked up when it should have, slowed down when it should have and it never felt like it dragged or glossed over anything. They took everything out of the 1980s 8bit design and updated it to the 2k feel and it worked to perfection. The new light-cycle and disc wars are absolutely a treat to watch. The sentinels of the old movie, didn’t play as central a part as back then, but they also got a well deserved makeover and they look cool as hell and there’s even a tank at a certain point!

The computer generated Jeff Bridges was good and even sometimes great, but it was obvious that we’re not at that point when we can get rid of the actors and replace them with sims. However, most of the movie, you didn’t feel it was a sim. It got the smile down pat, the only thing missing is the light we humans, get in our eyes, when we express surprise, or anger or disappointment or even introspection. As far as people bitching about the real Bridges just recycling his Big Lebowski routines, they couldn’t be more shortsighted. Bridges is Flynn and the way Flynn evolved is totally believable. Just because you went out and saw another movie where the actor played a similar character, you have no right to break the 4th dimension, because the movie sure doesn’t.

What wowed me most of all, though, was that halfway through the movie, when the 80s music is blasting at you full power, for a reason I won’t spoil, I realized that I was watching an 80s movie in 2011 and it totally worked. And since I love almost everything about the 80s, I was obviously the perfect customer for this movie. No kidding around, this movie feels like it’s using the same mechanics of most 80s movies, that’s part of what sets it apart from the convoy of shitty movies being spat out by Hollywood today.

Everyone praised the Daft Punk soundtrack, and I will as well. It’s perfect, it flows with the movie, and it manages to be as 8bit as the original and as flashy as this incarnation. You can tell it was a labour of love on their part as Daft Punk have even based their appearance on the 1982 Tron’s visuals. But I will go one step further than Daft Punk and think about Billy Idol. Even as I was in the theatre, watching the movie, I was thinking that there isn’t one song on the Billy Idol album Cyberpunk that wouldn’t have fit perfectly into this movie. We all know that critics are full of shit, and this was once more confirmed when they all trashed, in unison, the album as it came out. Call me crazy, but when you manage to put out an album that has a sound that’s still fresh 18 years later, you’re supposed to be a visionary not a failure. To add insult to injury, I also think Billy would’ve been perfect as the brit-talking Zuse, owner of the End Of The Line Club. Of course you can’t win them all, but if this is the worst thing I can say about the movie, then you’re still left with an awesome picture.

Tron: Legacy is ultimately a wonderful story. It has enough references to the original as well as a few Star Wars moments, that the adult fan is entertained, but more than that, the movie made me feel the same way as I felt when I first watched the Neverending Story. I was 8 or 9 years old at the time. Today I’m 28, but for a couple of hours I was able to reconnect with that inner child in me, thanks to this movie. And it comes as no surprise that, as I left the cinema with a huge smile on my face, I looked at my girlfriend’s mirror-smile and heard her say the very thing I was thinking: “I could go back in and see it again, right now!”. And that is the definition of a great movie.

Posted by: bukman | January 20, 2011

20110120

The sun seems to have faded from the skies over the US and over Western Europe. I don’t mean this from a geographical standpoint, but from a political and ideological one. It’s a well accepted fact that the people of these regions are more unhappy, more depressed and more discouraged than a few decades ago. Of course that you can blame the economy, the increasing poverty, the bad governance, the war in Iraq, but if there is one thing that watching House MD taught us is that multiple diseases are never the answer. There must be an underlying cause, a chronic condition that aggravated slightly through the years until it found an opening and burst into the scene at full speed.

Back in 2008, in the middle of the economic crisis, I watched every forum come alive to  the theory that we were witnessing the failure of capitalism. Every bleeding heart socialist from the States was in an outrage at what Bush and the right had done to the economy and how capitalism is a wrong system to begin with, how it was doomed to fail, how Karl Marx was a genius and how we should all turn against the rich because they are really the only thing keeping us down and we should tax the shit out of them so that the state can start redistributing that wealth. The Europeans, on the other hand, loved pointing the finger at the Americans back then, dumping the problems of the world on their shoulders and quipping from the sidelines how most states in Europe are more socialist and how you should really pay a hell of a lot more attention to social needs that those barbaric Yankees. And how, somehow, the cause of all evil became for them that the US was not socialist enough.

Well, guess what, capitalism didn’t die. Of course it couldn’t die, if nothing else, then for the lacquer of a system to replace it with. Because one of the things these idiots seemed to gloss over in their rants back in 2008 was that almost all of the purely socialist states, the so called socialist republics, failed miserably at the end of the 1980s. The only ones that are out there still are the likes of Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea and the People’s Republic Of China and all of them have major issues in the human rights department. I don’t exactly see a mass migration towards any of those countries, despite the fact that China’s economy is currently the best in the world so living in those lovely socialist states isn’t exactly a priority for the down-trotted of capitalist oppression. Therefore, I would say to all those preaching the death of capitalism to shut the hell up and sit their asses back down in front of their TVs, or computer screens or whatever they use to brainwash themselves into this kind of stupor.

Insufficient regulation of the financial markets and inept distribution of risks caused the financial crisis. It had nothing to do with capitalism. It had everything to do with idiots running the financial engine of the economy into the ground by selling and reselling debt thus making the whole system extremely susceptible to defaulting. Yeah, by the way, this wasn’t all done by the Americans either. Every bank in Europe took a hit when Lehman Brothers and Goldman and Sachs fell. They can point their fingers all they want at the evil Americans, but the fact remains that the European banks bought bad debt, they bought stuff they shouldn’t have touched so they have no right to cry when the deal they made backfired in their face.

However, these ideological discussions that took place amid the crisis, spawned an idea in my mind and, like a well planted seed, it finally blossomed. Not only is capitalism the best and only way that we have to aptly navigate reality, but I will go one step further and say that one of the underlying causes for westerners not being as happy and content with their lives and their respective societies is, in fact, that we have allowed too much socialism in our day to day.  I know that sounds so counterintuitive that it must be stupid, but let’s take a long way around the arguments and better explain what I mean.

If we are to reduce both doctrines to their respective cores, capitalism cares about money and socialism cares about people. You can easily see why the two have been put in such a stringent opposition over the years. Obviously either one of the two systems taken alone, will not function. The socialist movement was born as a way to fight back the oppressions of the owners over the workforce. I don’t think I need to bring back the problems that the average worker faced back in the early 1900s. Shitty pay, hazardous conditions, no such thing as a guaranteed contract and everywhere it was the same. If you weren’t happy digging in a mine  12 hours a day and dying of lung cancer or asthma and making 2 bucks per hour or less, you could just as easily die falling off a sky scraper or have yourself run over by a truck while shoveling dirt on a construction site for the same shit pay. There we no unions, no negotiations, no regulations, nothing. So yes, somebody needed to unite the workers, to have them push back. Socialism, at that time, was needed and when it led to strikes and angry mobs and protests it was fought against with police and guns and riot control. It was a bloody street fight, but eventually the people won and the owners understood that the exploitation days were over. Nowadays workers have rights, guaranteed retirements, disability pay and one form or another of health insurance and a lot of other stuff that has no theoretical reason for existing in a world concerned solely with profit increase. Socialism has won the battle that spawned it in the first place and if socialism were to disappear tomorrow we would still not return to those dark days of the 1900. We were there once, we saw how shitty it was, we learned out lesson and if anyone even dares to argue otherwise then they’re a fucking moron who loves arguing for the sake of arguing.

However, I feel that we came to a point where socialism has outgrown its utility, where it has become nothing more than a hindrance. Left without a reason for being, socialism was unable to reinvent, instead it chose to recycle the battle. The owners are still the villains looking the exploit the poor workers, when in fact this isn’t the case anymore. No matter what the quality of wages, socialism can never say that they’re enough, because then it just needs to disappear. The fact is that, perhaps it should have said enough many years ago.

I feel that today’s socialism consistently promotes stupidity and laziness and that there is no further gain that can be obtained by continuing on this path. Take France for instance, one of the most preeminent western socialist countries. They tax the hell out of their people, and they feel it’s justified to go up to a level of 50% income tax on the wealthy. In rough terms that means for every buck you make or Euro as is the case, you have to give one to the state. That might not sound as bad, but let’s say you’re an economic genius and you manage to get a return of 20 million Euros out of your business. Guess, what? You’ve only made 10.

This type of progressively layered taxation that sits at the core of every socialist fiscal system is literally a discouragement tool for enterprising people. The better you do, the more penalties your results incur. Yet there are people, ideological monkeys, that will take that last line, look you straight in the eye and tell you you’re wrong. They’ll tell you that you don’t understand, that those fortunate should pay their fair share and these monkeys will become so worked up over the course of their reply that they will stop, if they do stop, just short of calling you a hooligan for even thinking of challenging their ideas. Point in question, this exact type of exchange happened between a talk show host and an outraged politician when they were talking about the phenomenon of the wealthy leaving France for Switzerland because of the harsh French fiscal regime. The reason why France is so desperate for money, by the way? Is because they have one of the most active and involved social policies of all developed countries and they see how, if they keep this up, in twenty years’ time they won’t be able to afford it.

The state has now become an entity of its own and it needs a lot of money to survive. That’s not such a bad thing in itself because, in most countries, the state is well optimized and it, alone, doesn’t imprint enough pressure on personal income.

Speaking of personal income and insurance and retirement funds and all that jazz, does anyone have any kind of idea what the difference is between a person’s net income and the actual amount of money they cost the company they work for? In most countries, they cost double, in some, even more than that. But it’s not the state that’s mandating all of that money be taken away, not entirely anyway. There’s a little thing called unions that will also bite a hefty chunk out of the money pile.

Don’t get me wrong, we need unions. In all the places that I worked that didn’t unionize, things were crappy as hell. The HR department was there only to block the access of the employees to the justice system and to trick them into signing away as many of their rights as possible. However, unions have grown these days into this huge amoebic parasite that spreads into every corner of the country, that has branches in every little town, that instead of just presenting a common front to negotiate with the owners, has taken unto itself to pay disabilities and unemployment and all other kinds of shit and act as a sort of a state within the state. Can anyone tell me why in God’s name should the public transport of Cologne come to a complete stop because there is a payment dispute somewhere in the Lufthansa Technical Department? There is no common owner, just a union sisterhood that decided to protest out of solidarity. And its this type of damn solidarity that is misunderstood, that is portrayed as the foundation of socialism and that is the root of most evil nowadays.

The sums that are sunk into these machines that are the unions are staggering. Get your mind around this, people, there is an entire army of individuals making money doing absolutely nothing! It’s the best job in the world, work for the union. It used to mean that being a member of the union was something you did on top of your full-time job. Not the case today. Today you can actually work for the union itself. And there’s a shit-load of these people that make a living out of organizing rallies and collecting subscriptions and managing databases of union members, and all the while, this whole organization serves nothing. The services it provides are the same as those provided by a local union limited to pooling its members from a single company, only the overhead costs are much bigger because they have to synchronize with the network, or it doubles services already provided by the state like welfare, medical benefits, disabilities and other such things. More than this, the size and spread of these parasites, has allowed them in some cases to exercise pressure on the mechanisms of the state itself. In some countries, unions force the state’s hand to alter economic polices and that is just plain wrong because this enables the existence of another power within the state. The people should have influence on the state’s policies only during the electoral process. If any mass of non-elected people can exercise power over the mechanisms of state then the whole electoral principle is ruined as far as I’m concerned.

Somehow related to the development of unions but yet parallel to it is the idea of the social state creating this army of advisors and hand-holders whose only purpose is to meddle into people’s lives. They’ve effectively created a whole generation of drones that get counseled the entire duration of their lives. What job to take, how to plan their home, how to plan their family, how to function in their family life. This generation proves more and more to be without initiative and perpetuates the cancer as they accede to leadership positions and have no clue what to do and how to do it. All of these advisors and assistants and hand-holding services are payed out of public money; money that goes out of the pockets of the workers and doesn’t have a flying fuck in common with the redistribution of wealth. The socialist state, ends up ironically screwing the workers out of the money it helped them obtain in the first place, just so the ideology can spread and we can all experience more of their brand of solidarity.

Seriously, it’s the existence of these money sucking entities that prevented the American economy from wining the manufacturing race with countries like Japan in the 80s and China since the late 90s and up to now. The same principle applies for all developed economies. You find that your products simply can’t compete with the Made In China brand because the costs of labor have become so big here that we just can’t afford to make a good, decently priced product anymore. And it makes no sense for the consumer to hear “Buy American” when the product is not that much better and almost twice as expensive as a chinese one.

And the reason the cost of labor has gotten so out of hand, isn’t that all the workers are living in castles and making trains of money off their day job. When compared to the cost of living, the average net income isn’t all that dandy, but the actual cost of labour included into the product simply drives the price too high. The profit margin per product (the only company interest into any piece of merchandise) is minimal at best and almost infinitesimal when compared to the social expenses incurred by the workforce that are projected onto that same product. So when people point their angry little fingers at the big corporations as the root of all evil, they should just turn that finger around and point it at themselves, irregardless of wether or not they are employed. In fact, more so if they aren’t.

The only way we can recover out of this hole is if we give the enterprises some kind of leeway because only the creation of value can dig us out and, let’s face it, that’s something that the left side of the political spectrum just doesn’t have the tools and mentality for. We’ve been too exposed to socialism for our own good. We’ve become to preoccupied with talking and assisting and health-care and no child left behind and in the meantime nobody’s working and when the well will run dry, all shit’s gonna hit the fan. But, since this will still be perceived as a problem of capitalism, the left will win another term all over the world and sink us deeper. The skies aren’t darker because they’re clouded, it’s just that the sun seems farther away from the bottom of the hole we’re in, my comrades.

Posted by: bukman | January 14, 2011

20110114

Here’s the trouble with the world… We’ve all just abandoned all, and I mean all, of our common sense. Gone, baby! We traded that sucker in for laws and rights and rules and regulations and generally stuff that make you die quicker. No, it’s even more than that; it’s stuff that makes you wanna die quicker than you already are! We had a good thing going and we fucked with it.

I’m not one to stand against change on principle, though sometimes I may appear that way. But I enjoy my own judgement over bullshit lines that have been repeated so many times that they forever remained ingrained into the collective conscience of purists everywhere. I can’t agree to the retarded slogan that change is good just like that, taken out of context. Hell no! Not all change is good. Everybody’s got the right to vote – that’s a good thing. Women can, now, have the same jobs as men – another good thing. Overthrowing a totalitarian regime – hell, yeah! But you tell me that it’s okay for guys to wear purses, now, and get their eyebrows plucked – that’s where I need to draw a line.

There have been immense advances in the field of medicine. The average life expectancy has risen worldwide. We, now, know that a lot of the shit we put in our mouths, and a lot of the shit that we are exposed to every day is harmful. But to make that jump from all of this to accusing a pregnant woman of child abuse and being a degenerate mother because she smokes when she’s pregnant… That’s a huge leap I’m just not willing to take.

I chose this subject precisely because it’s not polarizing. Everybody will get on that woman’s case. She is wrong, they’ll say. The nicotine will screw up with the development of the child. She is literally condemning her child to diseases or mental retardation or what not. We’re so quick to plump in nicotine with all of the hard drugs out there, just because some liberal health nut got a beef against the tobacco companies and managed to get the ball rolling on a media campaign, just as big, and just as influential and just as manipulative as the one the tobacco companies were running.

It’s easy, it’s comfortable to take the high ground here. The tobacco companies have become the devil, so anything that they put out must be evil. And what better image than the devil corrupting a child out of her depraved mother’s womb. The reverends will have a field day over this. But there’s one thing we’re all forgetting here. Before we knew that cigarettes are bad, there were people getting it on and women getting knocked up. In fact, whole generations up to that point have been nicotine babies. And hell, they did just fine. In fact, if it wasn’t for nicotine babies we wouldn’t be where we are today.

My mom gave up smoking temporarily when she found out I was coming into the world, but, we know now that it didn’t mean shit, because nicotine gets stored in your fat cells, and when you’re not supplying a constant dosage the organism just goes into its stash. So does that make me a nicotine baby too? I’d sure like to claim that title. But here’s an even better example. My dad, was born in 1958. His mom, was an avid smoker. He grew up to be over 6 feet tall, built like a brick outhouse and a college graduate. And no, he was not the exception. It’s not like the world was full of retards before, and now, all of a sudden, since pregnant women have given up smoking, we all started getting nobel prizes. In fact, if I were to think about it, the world seems to be more crowded with idiots now, rather than back then.

But, if there’s one thing that statistics has forever proven is that correlation does not necessarily imply causality. Just because I take a piss at 3:25 on days when I take a tram to work, and at 4 on days I take a cab, it doesn’t mean that my urination is connected to the means of transport that I choose. Why do I know that? It’s a little something called common sense. And if you just thought of a way how to argue that I was wrong, and my piss is connected to how I get to work through some third factor, like having my coffee later because I’d only take the cab when I’m already late, then, yes… You are one of the idiots that put the effort into making the world the shitty place it has become today.

Common sense is what we were using in the old days to figure stuff out. Today, we can’t do that anymore. In the old days, if you dropped some food on the floor, you picked it up quickly, looked at it, blew on top of it and ate it. Or if it didn’t seem good, you’d throw it out. But no, we just couldn’t be trusted with that, so it became the three second rule, which basically said that it was ok to put it back into your mouth if it had stayed on the floor for no more than three seconds. Now here’s the trouble with stupid rules… They can never substitute common sense (the same goes for laws too), because at some point, a situation will come up where the rules do not apply… Unless you’re a total idiot. Take this three second rule and let me see you eat something that spent two seconds on a carpet that’s fluffy and obviously dusty as hell.

You wanna say that’s a bad rule to make an example out of… Ok, besides the fact that you’re an idiot for arguing, take a big rule: Though shall not kill and show me a priest that has never eaten a burger his whole life. When Moses came back with the tablets off the mountain he didn’t turn the Jews into agrarians. If he had, we probably would have never heard of judaism, cause they would have all died right then and there. They were in the middle of the freaking desert! They had goats with them, they put them down, they had their barbecues and they made it out of Egypt alive.

If people would just use their common sense more, this world would be an ideal place. And everything starts with the little things. Let your kid play in the dirt, drink the tap water and shut up about it. He’s gonna be fine! Millions have been fine!

Let’s all take a collective day where we go by what our common sense dictates, instead of the bullshit that’s been ingrained into us over the past twenty or thirty years and I’m sure it’ll be a day when we discover we can make life a lot easier for one another.

Categories

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.